As you crouch behind the soapbox, fearing for your life, you see what looks to be a speech of some kind. Looking through it, it seems to be divided into sections...
Music (General) : Here's where I'll denounce Korn, rally for a Soundgarden reunion tour, and say how great Metallica is. I'll probably talk about neat-o concerts I've been to (Rammstein+Fire=Screaming Crowd)
Music (Song o' the Whenever) : Ever have a song get stuck in your head? Me too! Ever used a shotgun to get it out? No? Hmm, maybe that's just me.
Television : Damn, The Simpsons is funny.
Quotes : If someone says something funny, or meaningful, or just plain cool, I'll put it here, and give my thoughts. Past experience shows, though, that the probable extent of my thoughts will be "Damn, The Simpsons is funny."
Movies : This is where I'll talk about my favorite movies. It has recently come to pass that two of my favorite movies star Keanu Reeves. Shoot me now. Oh, I'll also talk about vaslty over-rated crap, like Titanic. I hate Titanic.
Comic Books : Ah, the divine dance that is this magical mixture of the artistic and the literary. Comic books.. Comic books.. Umm, I've lost my train of thought. Damn
Books : Hey, genu-ine, one-hunred per'ent LITRATURE!
Bestiality : HA! Fooled you! This is just miscellaneous crap. I'm not into that stuff. No matter WHAT farmer Bob tells you...
Looking up, you see the author has found you! You have only three options. Do you...
...tackle the lunatic, driving him into the elevator?
...make a mad dash for the art gallery?
...startle the author by reading from his speech?